How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
