it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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