I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
