He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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