Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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