Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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