"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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