found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I have feelings that need drinking.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
