His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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