I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
