i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
