Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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