I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
