1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
