She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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