Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
what the fuck happened to the tacos
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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