Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
