It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
