Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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