just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
