We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
