honey bunches of taint.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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