question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
