At least make sure they are 18
Why
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
