His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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