i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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