I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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