my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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