he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You smell like stripper and shame
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
