we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize