i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
