it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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