i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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