Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
