She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
