i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
