I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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