I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
