I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
