If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
