i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
