he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
