I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
time to smoke my breakfast
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i came on her dog
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
