Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
