i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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