please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
