3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
