so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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