It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
