I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i dont even know how to be here
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
