I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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