my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
