after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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