I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize