Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
