if i can run in heels then i can drive
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
