I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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