everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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