do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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