yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
