We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
