Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
