Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
