Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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